Bangin’ Morning Follow Up

It’s been three weeks since my fainting, and one week since my visit to the doctors for blood work and MRI.

A visit to the doctors office is never and enjoyable experience for one is never sure as to what they’ll hear or learn. In my case, what with having visited the hospital plenty as well as the doctor; I can tell you that I am quite fed up with having to pay a visit whenever something happens, for it only sickens me and drops me into a state of momentary hopelessness. I feel as though I’m nothing but a mess!

From what my visit entailed this time; so the kind doctor relayed to me, was the cause of my fainting, more than likely was due to a lack of sleep, exhaustion and the fact that I have a demanding job. Also, I may unfortunately, have a low threshold to lack of sleep. This means, if I do not cease the opportunity to rest when presented, I am likely to have this very same event occur. Also, I must constantly hydrate and stay hydrated for that is also a likely possibility. Within my first two weeks, I was terribly nervous and embarrassed to grab a glass of water. Although, I seemed to have summed up the courage when I felt a headache coming on or the body feeling dehydrated.

Needless to say, I was horrible on myself my first two weeks. Aside from the marvelous news that was presented to me, blood work came back normal; perfectly normal- love that scene in Dracula: Dead and Loving It. Such great news is agreeably music to my ears. Although, lastly there was the dreadfully awaited results from the MRI.

I believe I shocked, or rather surprised the technician that took care of me during my scanning of my brain for I was ecstatic and ready to be sent through the giant doughnut shaped tube. I doubt they receive many patients that are so eager to be poked by needles and sent through for brain scanning. I did enjoy listening to the classic rock that was played, although to tell the truth; lying in that tube with my arms crossed over my chest in Dracula mode, was really pleasant and I kept falling asleep during the process. It was so peaceful, I couldn’t help myself.

After having waited 48 hours for the return of my results, I learned that I have a scar tissue on my brain. I cried a tad bit over the news for scar tissue on such a sensitive organ can indeed cause seizures… But from what I was told and what the doctor believes, it should not and will not cause me harm in the future, but if I am not careful when taking care of my health and am not on top of myself to constantly hydrate, the little fainting episode with the tiny seizure may happen again.

I do not plan on paying another visit any time soon to the good ole’ doctor, so I am becoming far more diligent when it comes to caring for my health, along with keeping up with such hectic schedule.

For now, I can say with assurance, that all is well. I have felt stressed and terribly exhausted, but I have luckily rested and continued to do so for plenty a time- give or take a four hour cat nap as I call it.

Cyberia Night

Goth club fun. Follow the link for photos and details on the night of dancing.

CYBERIA NIGHT GOTH

Practice Makes Perfect, but it’s Alternative or Bust

Recently went on a photo shoot about a week ago. Went for a VERY different look; something I never do, mostly due to the reason that I feel and know I never look good plain- it makes me feel very uneasy? The theme was earthy yet dark so naturally best thing that comes to mind is brown upon brown, black boots, but a twist on the socks! Striped stockings all the way! The outfit in general was executed perfectly, to top it off a shawl to protect the skin from the sun also as another ensemble to the outfit. Unfortunately, the final piece that was meant to really bring the whole concept together loosened itself from the sealed frame, so the antlers had to stay.

What with being an aspiring Alternative model, every chance one gets to grow their portfolio, from what I learn, is a chance one should never pass up on if they’re intent on growing their portfolio since they are serious about their art work; but ALWAYS be cautious and know the people you’re working with!! So whenever I’ve been given the chance to make my art come alive or compose a new idea, I make sure to use the opportunity I’ve been presented- obviously though, with people I know who have experience using their craft (the photographer). This time, for this shoot, things were not at all along the lines of having experience, for my photographer friend was also using this experience as practice for them self, no problem there, but when looking through the photo set I noticed the biggest mistakes I always avoid and constantly remind myself NEVER to do. Always, always elongate that neck- it’s crucial! But what makes it a team effort is having someone who’s worked with people before and knows when one needs the aid of remembrance, one must speak up and say what is needed to get a great shot. Thankfully I’ve learned that on my own from a few inspirational role models, but also through the aid of the photographers who’ve helped me with my previous photo shoots. I am very thankful of that lesson and many others learned with their help.

Sadly though, I did not implement my lessons learned for when the body feels comfortable and when one is NOT in front of a mirror, one does not see themselves but feels what may be right- WRONG! Those mistakes appeared on the set, something I judge myself on very harshly. So of course, most of the photos that were great ideas were total flunks which disappointed me a lot. Perhaps another attempt at this very theme may turn out far better than the previous one.

Apprentice Chef: Week Three

Third week in, almost a month and 36 hours for this week! Boy does time fly by. Every day I learn something new and every week I meet someone new or learn more helpful techniques. For my third week, I began my Monday in my first morning shift. Definitely something new for me that very week, but I already new the few things that had to be prepared.

Monday, clocked in at 10:00. Got most of what I knew ready and set for this new chef I was to meet. I thought I was going to meet another older chef, but surprisingly, the chef I met and worked with on my morning shift is only 6 or 7 years older than I. Chef P is who he is. German too, like Chef R! So naturally, it felt comfortable working with a neighbor- you know, country wise?

Any who, meeting Chef P was awesome. Picked up a few more techniques and still am too! He’s definitely a speedy Chef. I will say this, but at least I’m not having my head bitten off. Monday, for it being my first morning shift, was a bit of fuck-up. But what can I say; it’s a Monday, that’s what everyone is on. Plus, I’m no morning person so I’m surprised my brain was working well enough to get things moving along.

Towards the later hours of 13:00-14:30, the restaurant picked up the pace and the kitchen was getting busy, which was good, but not as busy as I would have thought, although it was a Monday so things are slow. Only ten tickets. Not even close to much, to let you know. So to kill some time, I was put on breadcrumb duty! Yep, I got to play with the big boy and shred bread into itty-bitty pieces, or shavings I should say, for our food. Before clocking out at 15:00, I cleaned up my mess and what not, as well as the walk in cooler. You have no idea as to what I may find, whether it be leaves of lettuce to celery sticks or onion skins… sigh. Whenever you see a mess, you clean it right?! Well, if only two certain people in the kitchen knew how to do just that, boy would that make my day!

Tuesday, my second morning shift went smoothly, got more cooking done and went to work with Chef P until he clocked out at 16:00. I was working with one of the other cooks in the kitchen, J. Yeah, so I have cook J and cook M. I was working with J, so far so good, but his method is very strange and really works little for me, also with him having SUCH a thick accent; it makes this FAR more difficult being in the kitchen.. So working with him, it’s nothing personal, but I can see some trouble in the future caused by him and cook M.

Wednesday and Thursday, thankfully were my days off, although, I was not looking forward to them for I had to pay a visit to the doctor Wednesday morning, 11:30 for a check up. What with having fainted and apparently having had a mini seizure, which is why they wanted to see me since that was the first time that has happened to me, the doctor wanted to ensure my health was not under threat and was curious as to what may have been the culprit, just as I was.

From what I had told her, she believes it to have been nothing more than my lack of sleep having caught up to me as well as the exhaustion and having started a demanding job. More on that in another post.

Thursday was a second visit, but for an MRI, more information on that in the other post.

Friday, was not so bad. Although my arms, or veins I should say, were still sore from being poked and stabbed by needles. Pretty busy with making burgers, wings and schnitzels. I’d say around 20:00-20:30, the live entertainment came in and started to kill my ears again. Alright they’re not that bad at all, in fact, the guy and his band mates play pretty damn well, only problem is when he screeches like a lady over a few songs. So of course, my ears bleed away while trying to take in everything Chef R taught me, especially a few awesome new recipes for sauces.

Also, what made Friday FAR better was receiving my first pay check! I felt so proud!

Saturday and Sunday, were both the same hours from 12:00-18:00. Saturday, worked with cook J in the morning. I learned how to make a few of the dishes from scratch, so that was great, although it is quite an unorthodox method. Although before I got busy in the kitchen, all I could hear from the bathroom was yelling and an argument boiling over. So cook J obviously got reprimanded by one of my bosses.

Sunday, cook J was quiet while making a few things, like boiled potatoes. As soon as I clocked in, I put them to cool on the salamander/speed rack to cool off. Once that was done, it was at least some time for a break to munch on something fast and get prepared for the tickets to come. It was hell working with cook J though, for as I mentioned his accent is very thick and difficult for me to understand. Problem is, this ass thinks I don’t listen to him; WRONG! I JUST DON’T FUCKING UNDERSTAND YOU!

So this joker was on my last nerve and was pushing my last button. Finally I grew apathetic towards his shit. Funny thing was when he gave me a few “pointers” on how a restaurant runs. Granted I know I am new to the business and do know all that goes on, but to interject, I DO KNOW the bit that I learned and bothered to ask from picking the brains of people I’ve met and instructors. So I’m not walking into the business blind! Although, what really tickled my funny bone, was when he said “you know how you have to be in a restaurant, right? You have to be fast! You know how they show on channel 6 and channel 10? Those classes.” Boy when I heard that, I wanted to just drop my knife and crack up right in front of him; although I had to save that outburst of laughter for when I walked out the door. One thing’s for sure, that REALLY explains it ALL now.

Afterwards, things got pretty slow and it had its moments of speeding up. Luckily, Chef R clocked in at just the right time, although let me tell you, I really wanted to cut my head off that day what with having been driven insane. I understand everyone has their methods, and it works to their advantage, although, one thing I wish many people understood, is the fact that NOT ALWAYS will a method that works for you, work for another individual. It does not work that way.

Apprentice Chef: Week Two

A total of 17 hours completed for my second week. Shorter than my first, thankfully, for I was given a four day rest period. Desperately needed. As I mentioned in a previous post, during my rest period, Tuesday morning, I had fainted. The rest of my rest period consisted of watching movies (Pride & Prejudice to tell the truth), eating, drinking loads of fluids and resting whenever possible and taking things slow.

Friday, I clocked in at 16:00. It was an interesting night since we had a band, a local one that drops in to play some hits for everyone at the restaurant. I was pretty busy making roasted potatoes, schnitzels, wings. bretzels mit liptauer ( a cheese spread we make), apfel strudel, chocolate cake, sausage sampler, etc. Busy, but good. Drank a ton more water that day. Made sure to let Chef R and the boss know about what happened; they were relieved though as much as I that my fainting hadn’t happen in the kitchen. Hell I was ecstatic that it didn’t occur there! o,.,o

Any who, Friday was hellish in it’s own way, what with the band that came to play. To fill you in, Friday’s we always have a band play from 20:00-23:00. On that Friday night though, I wanted to shoot the ass that was singing half the shit he decided to play that night. One song in particular though really stood out to me, mostly because it is from my first band I ever listened to intently during my middle school years; HIM or H.I.M. The song covered by the band at the restaurant was Wicked Game. Although, let me tell you, this man butchered the fucking hell out of it! Boy do I mean BUTCHERED!!

But hey, after that, I’ve now come to think the guy has nothing much to do and is just out to have some fun! The cooking was good, and everything came to an early close for me around 22:00.

Saturday was a later stay since I had to prepare a few things for Sunday’s Swiss event with Chef R and another cook. Roasted potatoes, sliders, etc. Unfortunately, there was another issue with said cook in the kitchen that gets on mine and Chef R’s nerves. Instead of making sure there was enough of everything, she continued to go about things in her own world and of course, going about things her own way and ignore Chef R.

Sunday, being more insane, I clocked earlier than the time scheduled; so 16:30. As soon as I clocked in, straight away to my station, prepare my canapes, well the bread first were put to toast, then liptauer and herb cheese mixture spread on the toasted bread. Once those were prepped, it was off to my schnitzel station. Let me tell you, I did NOT want to see a schnitzel for as long as I live that day! Even when not on a busy night, I find schnitzel’s to be, though an easy dish, terribly annoying after a long while of schnitzel making- although IT IS TO DIE FOR!!

Anyway, Swiss event, was hell. Nothing was enough whatsoever, things were lacking. Salads were not enough, I got snapped at, while trying to keep up, but thankfully it wasn’t that bad of a bark and I got back in gear and shaped up afterwards.

For it having been my first event, 120 people or so from a headcount that I remember, so far so good, but next time I believe I’ll stay a little longer an make sure that shit gets done or help out some more. What can I say, I’ve already figured out who’s going to be a fucking pain in my ass and trouble in the kitchen for me on my second week. Shit…

Bangin' Morning

Literally! Although I shouldn’t fill your minds with such thoughts, it wasn’t the bangin’ morning you may be thinking of. ;)

What occurred last week, Tuesday morning; I was having strange dreams, far stranger than usual ones. This one in particular was the oddest one yet, for I was able to smell something in a dream; which is something I’ve never been able to do. What I distinctly remember about this dream in particular, was this wood paneled room and a group of people surrounding this cloth covered table or hole on the concrete floor. I remember standing in a corner somewhere within the room, the cloth kept fluttering around with the draft that was within the room. Then the horrid smell began to permeate the air. It was disgusting. Definitely something foul or rotting flesh; as though I had walked passed a garbage heap and a dead animal corpse.

I kept waking up several times during the night, and kept returning to the same dream, smelling the same revolting odor. I’d around 6:00 am was when the dream finally got somewhere with the story line, for the linen flew off the table and revealed a human body. Perhaps I’ve been watching too much NCIS or Horror flicks, but I doubt that’s the case for this would have been with my whole life then if it were. After the cloth flew off the body, the thick smell of decay filled the room and the next thing I knew; I woke up walked to the bathroom to take a leak.

Just before my whole run in with the window sill, the towel rack, the floor and a mini tremble of the body; all I can remember was sitting on the porcelain thrown, dozing off back to sleep, but somehow managing to lift my knickers up after I finished my business and then… Blank!

I guess I got up too fast or the lack of sleep finally caught up to me, but my awakening was me hearing my name yelled or called, to then recognize it was the voices of my parents to slowly slouching myself towards the corner of the bathroom, right in-between the bathtub and toilet. I still wasn’t in focus for I was dead to the world, but I wasn’t that bad to where I couldn’t hold a glass of soda to give me some sort of a lift. Apparently, when you’ve fainted, best thing to help raise the blood sugar is something like a soft drink or juice.

I couldn’t hold myself up, all I wanted to do was pass out again, but I was constantly being called at to stay with my parents; if you get what means, but I still had that stubborn nausea that wouldn’t give. Finally, my stomach said enough was enough, so I puked first a tiny bit of saliva in the bathtub, then the rest of the digested meal I had from the night before. I can tell you this, I felt a HELL OF A LOT BETTER after having puked up that junk in my stomach. No more nausea and finally I was starting to feel a lot less clammy. Horrible sensation I might add, also the worst for it only has you want to pass out again so the body can cool off.

I didn’t do much after I got back up to my feet except sleep in a chair or love seat (?), drink fluids, eat some crackers, Swiss cheese and some slices of ham. Alas, I thought I was in the clear though when I was doing alright with some needed rest, but apparently I could escape a visit to the doctor. So come this Wednesday, my ass is off to visit Dr. S, although since Dr. S is out of town, I will be seeing an associate of his. X,.,X *gulp* For blood work.

The needles, am I afraid? Pfft, not even. I don’t fear the needles, I know it’s nothing but a prick then I’m done. What I do fear is when I have a nurse or someone that is taking my blood or doing the blood letting, bruise the vein or have trouble finding the vein! My last experience was at the hospital, a pick line nurse (the experts in finding veins) was called in to find a vein in my arms. I guess since I was poked at so many times, my veins became shy and decided to run for the “hills” and call it a day. With luck, from what I’m seeing, I shouldn’t have TOO much trouble with them finding a vein or two, I just am not looking forward to visiting the Doctor for I always have a nervous sensation whenever I go there. >,.,< I hate it.

Apprentice Chef: Week Two

A total of 17 hours completed for my second week. Shorter than my first, thankfully, for I was given a four day rest period. Desperately needed. As I mentioned in a previous post, during my rest period, Tuesday morning, I had fainted. The rest of my rest period consisted of watching movies (Pride & Prejudice to tell the truth), eating, drinking loads of fluids and resting whenever possible and taking things slow.

Friday, I clocked in at 16:00. It was an interesting night since we had a band, a local one that drops in to play some hits for everyone at the restaurant. I was pretty busy making roasted potatoes, schnitzels, wings. bretzels mit liptauer ( a cheese spread we make), apfel strudel, chocolate cake, sausage sampler, etc. Busy, but good. Drank a ton more water that day. Made sure to let Chef R and the boss know about what happened; they were relieved though as much as I that my fainting hadn’t happen in the kitchen. Hell I was ecstatic that it didn’t occur there! o,.,o

Any who, Friday was hellish in it’s own way, what with the band that came to play. To fill you in, Friday’s we always have a band play from 20:00-23:00. On that Friday night though, I wanted to shoot the ass that was singing half the shit he decided to play that night. One song in particular though really stood out to me, mostly because it is from my first band I ever listened to intently during my middle school years; HIM or H.I.M. The song covered by the band at the restaurant was Wicked Game. Although, let me tell you, this man butchered the fucking hell out of it! Boy do I mean BUTCHERED!!

But hey, after that, I’ve now come to think the guy has nothing much to do and is just out to have some fun! The cooking was good, and everything came to an early close for me around 22:00.

Saturday was a later stay since I had to prepare a few things for Sunday’s Swiss event with Chef R and another cook. Roasted potatoes, sliders, etc. Unfortunately, there was another issue with said cook in the kitchen that gets on mine and Chef R’s nerves. Instead of making sure there was enough of everything, she continued to go about things in her own world and of course, going about things her own way and ignore Chef R.

Sunday, being more insane, I clocked earlier than the time scheduled; so 16:30. As soon as I clocked in, straight away to my station, prepare my canapes, well the bread first were put to toast, then liptauer and herb cheese mixture spread on the toasted bread. Once those were prepped, it was off to my schnitzel station. Let me tell you, I did NOT want to see a schnitzel for as long as I live that day! Even when not on a busy night, I find schnitzel’s to be, though an easy dish, terribly annoying after a long while of schnitzel making- although IT IS TO DIE FOR!!

Anyway, Swiss event, was hell. Nothing was enough whatsoever, things were lacking. Salads were not enough, I got snapped at, while trying to keep up, but thankfully it wasn’t that bad of a bark and I got back in gear and shaped up afterwards.

For it having been my first event, 120 people or so from a headcount that I remember, so far so good, but next time I believe I’ll stay a little longer an make sure that shit gets done or help out some more. What can I say, I’ve already figured out who’s going to be a fucking pain in my ass and trouble in the kitchen for me on my second week. Shit…